Stupid dumb shower

I took the plunge today and decided to cycle ‘hard’ into work, safe in the knowledge I could freshen up in the thoughtfully-provided office shower. This shower was an eco initiative specifically included in the design of our low-energy office block, to encourage people to cycle in.

I might do this more often if the floor didn’t slope away from the shower and down towards the toilet, resulting in a puddle requiring 5 minutes’ mopping to kind of almost get dry. I suppose this could count as 5 minutes’ bonus exercise but I don’t really feel like taking that perspective.

Another boring resolution

For the record, my new year’s resolution is to reduce my weekly lunch budget from a potential £30 to about a fiver by staying on top of baking and bringing bread. I have a lump of Emmental in the work fridge to assist with my determination in this matter. Today’s lunch was sourdough with tomato concentrate and Emmental open sandwiches. Lovely.

A potential, beneficial side-effect of this will be having a bit of desk-time at lunch to catch up on life-business like emails, blogging, managing the music career (ha!!!)… etc…

A notable workday moment occurred when I thought I should check up on the welfare of my colleague who hadn’t shown up by 11.30.

- Brring, brring… Hello! Happy new year!
- Hello… you alright?
- Yes, pretty good, you?
- Yep, fine thanks… are you having a sick day today?
- (long pause) Sick day… today…?
- It’s a work day.
- Oh! Um… oh, shit… um…
- Shall I phone up head office and tell them you’re sick?
- Ah… um, well maybe that would a good idea, I’m actually not that well…

I figure he owes me a pint. Maybe three.

Offensive odours

Back at work after a lovely christmas break. My eyes are a little tired from general lack of sleep, festive behaviour etc, and I’m really noticing it now, staring at the screen all day.

There is another factor here that contributes a great deal to my ocular displeasure, and that is the Hygenically Clean Cussons’ Carex Moisturising Hand Wash, supplied by the contracted cleaners. Most probably the unspecified ingredient ‘Parfum’ which, let’s face it, could be any bloody thing so long as it smells. Whatever it is, whenever I use it, I’m immediately afflicted with itchy eyes. I generally manage it by using as little of the stuff as possible, but in the interests of hygiene you do have to use a bit from time to time.

My dismay was compounded today when I discovered the latest thoughtful addition to the toiletry supplies. Perfumed toilet paper. Just… don’t get me started…!

Nothing much

I think the reason I haven’t been blogging is that I’ve hit a new level of busy-ness with work. I like my work. It can be stressful, but that’s due to having been given greater responsibility. I am hoping that come review time this translates to greater reward…

I get to do really nerdy things like building sql statements in a java framework, and extracting objects from the result set. I can’t believe people trust me with their systems… I’m afraid I have a bit of a ‘what does this button do’ approach. No major disasters so far though, so I guess it works.

My work is taking me to Belgium next week. The Dutch-speaking part. I’m excited about going to a completely new country (for me, that is… I’m aware that Belgium has existed for some time). I do know a couple of phrases in Dutch, but I don’t think it will be appropriate to try them out on my Belgian colleagues. Maybe after a few Hoegaardens…!

Instant Karma in the Workplace

Sixty-something male colleague commented:

“I was surprised when they started employing women in the energy sector… I mean – they haven’t really got the technical skills.”

A pregnant pause, then:

“What’s the connection on this new keyboard, is it a USB? It looks funny…”

“You need to take the PS-2 converter off”

“Ah yes, righto…” (much laughter from all present) “I think I’ll go and put the kettle on…”

V.F.D.

As a Lemony Snicket fan, I find it a little sinister to hear the acronym V.F.D. being bandied about my new workplace.

They say it’s the Variable Frequency Drive, but they don’t have me fooled. I know it’s some kind of Very Fishy Diversion.

Things I could have been usefully doing…

… instead of staying up til 1am playing ‘who has the biggest brain’ on facebook:

- racking off kiwifruit wine
- sweeping kitchen
- finishing Bill Bryson book
- finishing Graeme Greene book
- finding panniers, bike lock, bike light etc to prepare for cycling to work in morning
- finishing off outstanding website work
- grabbing a guitar and sorting out half-written songs
- stretching
- sleeping

However, on the plus side:

- I’d had a productive day already
- I now apparently possess a 2801cc Squidlian brain
- I’m getting much better at dividing by 3

Pity in a way it’s not 2799cc, as that would make 3 neat compartments of 933cc each (but maybe I needed those extra 2cc to figure that out… um… yeah)